It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
