As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
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The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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