well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
