sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Then you guys just all showered together...?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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