got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Sorry about my life...
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize