I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
