i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
