READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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