pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
