Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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