kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
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GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
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The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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