I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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