i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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