his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
