I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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