just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize