Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That's how pantless uber rides happen
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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