In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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