I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize