just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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