In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
