is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
