He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
