my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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