you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
