3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
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I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
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My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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