i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
