True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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