Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We left the knife in your bed.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
