How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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