Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize