Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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