you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize