Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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