wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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