I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize