i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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