Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
