how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
