If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
