i don't plan on having that self control this summer
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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