We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
