Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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