so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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