i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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