all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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