This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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