I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is Oprah even human
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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