she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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