I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
