I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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