i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize