After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
