why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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