I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
