her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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