Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
