I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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