He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
