i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
