i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
