He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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