If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
