Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
