did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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