your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
