you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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